How to Piss Off an Austrian in 7 Easy Steps
Ok so I’ve lived in Austria since 2012 and I’ve noticed quite a few things that can piss off an Austrian person and make their blood pressure rise. If you want to be well-received as a visitor or you plan on moving to the country, do not, I repeat, DO NOT say or do any of the following things:
Tell them you thought Austria was in Germany
Or tell them they’re pretty much the same thing. Both those statements are guaranteed to make you the odd one out on every occasion. This is probably the №1 thing that makes Austrians hate you INSTANTLY! On the one hand it shows exactly how much attention (or lack thereof) you paid in school, on the other hand it’s even more shortsighted if you DO know your geography but you say that for you “they’re basically the same”.
Tell them the only sports they’re good at are winter sports
If you’re having a conversation with an aspiring volleyball player don’t forget to mention how you think that’s interesting, because the only thing you thought Austrians are good at involves lots of snow and cold weather.
Remind them about all the famous Austrians like Mozart, Christoph Waltz and…you know where this is going
Another favourite topic. There’s really nothing more annoying than stating that a certain dead leader with a funny mustache was actually Austrian and not German. `Nuff said. But people continue to think it's one of the most interesting talking points they can discuss with Austrian people. Like, why, WHY?
Use German words and expressions
Everything from saying “Guten Morgen” to asking for a “Tüte” on the checkout of a supermarket is most likely to result in a few annoyed stares. ESPECIALLY if you’re German yourself. If you’re a tourist and you don’t know the language you can probably get a pass but I’ve noticed Austrians are seriously not having it with the German expressions. If you want to be in their good graces, always start with “Grüß Gott” instead of “Guten Morgen/Tag” and ask for a “Sackerl” and not a “Tüte”. And for the love of God it’s Jäner and not Januar! Jeez, know your Austrian, Oida, wos is mit dir?!
Quick *sarcastic* travel tip: Bonus points if you’re a native speaker and you tell them how “cute” their dialect sounds.
Tell them you don’t understand their coffee house culture
Let me preface this by mentioning that Viennese coffee house culture is considered to be intangible cultural heritage by UNESCO, so that should tell you how serious the locals take their cafés. In Austria it's completely normal to go to a really fancy coffee place alone, get a newspaper, order a Melange and sit by yourself for 3 hours. (Basically the EXACT opposite of how people drink coffee in Italy). I’ve observed this mainly with the older generations and it almost seems like meditation to me. Tell them you drink your coffee on the go and they’ll certainly start questioning your life choices.
Be extremely loud in an apartment building on Sunday
Sunday is a big deal in Austria. Nothing works and that’s definitely quite annoying for tourists but it's completely normal for the locals. And one of the worst things you can do if you’re staying at a friend’s apartment or an AirBnb is to be loud on a Sunday. Fun fact, it's actually written in my contract that I`m not allowed to use the washing machine on Sundays. That's how seriously they take it.
Tell them how bad cigarettes are for their health
Of course not every Austrian smokes, but trust me, A LOT of them do. According to this statistic , 23,9 % to be exact, which is among the highest percentages in Europe. I myself have very few Austrian friends who don’t smoke and I’ve always found it incredibly weird that this is one of the few countries in the EU I’m aware of, that hasn’t banned smoking in public places like bars and coffee houses*. And I mean they looooooooove their cigarettes. So go ahead and tell them how you really can’t wait for the inevitable smoking ban.
*Smoking is now banned inside public places but the article was written in 2018.
Of course not all those things are going to be so badly received by every single Austrian but I’ve noticed they are some of the main points that make them dislike you to various degrees.
Share this article if you’re Austrian and you can relate! Let me know if you agree or disagree with some of the things you just read, or you simply wish to add something to the list. If you’re a foreigner about to visit Austria for the first time, be wise and refer to this article for the things you SHOULDN'T say or do there if you want to be well-received.